From the moment we’re old enough to sit in front of a screen or switch on the radio, we’re sold the same dream: meet “the one,” fall in love, marry and live happily ever after.

Movies, novels, and love songs recycle this narrative endlessly. But if we look more closely, the stories they tell are rarely simple — and often suggest that the more painful the journey, the more meaningful the love.

Hollywood’s Favourite Fairytale

Take The Notebook. We’re swept up in the passion between Allie and Noah. But before their “forever” comes there’s heartbreak, family conflict, years apart, and plenty of tears. The message? That enduring pain makes their love more powerful.

Or Jerry Maguire, which gave us the line “You complete me” — cementing the idea that we are somehow unfinished until we find a partner.

More recently, films like La La Land and A Star Is Born keep repeating the theme: love is powerful, but only proven through struggle, sacrifice or loss.

The Love Songs That Shape Us

The music industry tells a similar story. Just look at:

• Taylor Swift – “Love Story”: true love only shines after secrecy, obstacles, and family disapproval.

• Celine Dion – “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”: here, intensity is everything — the soaring highs and crashing lows are presented as proof that the relationship was powerful and “real.”

• Whitney Houston – “I Will Always Love You”: heartbreak and longing define love, even when the relationship ends.

• Billie Eilish – “Happier Than Ever”: love as messy, consuming, and painful, shifting from vulnerability to rage.

• Toni Braxton – “Un-Break My Heart”: longing and devastation are framed as the ultimate proof of love’s depth.

Different decades, same script: love equals intensity, and intensity comes from struggle.

Reality Looks Different

But in real life, does happiness always follow this script? Not necessarily.

Since launching Willow, many women have told me that they got married because it felt like “the right thing to do” — yet marriage didn’t automatically bring them joy. Some even felt lonelier in their relationships than they did when single.

Research backs this up. Psychologist Bella DePaulo, who has studied singlehood for decades, calls the belief that everyone is happier married one of society’s biggest myths. In fact, studies show that single people often report strong social connections and fulfillment in ways married people don’t always experience.

Time for a New Story

There’s nothing wrong with love, marriage, or family if that’s what you truly want. But perhaps it’s time to question the scripts we’re fed by Hollywood and the music industry — scripts that equate drama with depth, and suffering with proof of love.

Real relationships can be joyful, supportive, and fun — without needing a blockbuster storyline to validate them.

So maybe the questions we should all be asking are these:

Isn’t it time we asked society if marriage truly delivers all it promises?
And shouldn’t we challenge the story that our lives only begin when we find “the one”?