This seems to come up a lot for solo women, especially at this time of year. You can be genuinely happy at home and still feel a quiet pull that suggests you should be doing more, going out, taking advantage of the freedom you have.

Yesterday, I was out shopping with friends. Coffee, chatting, laughing, a really lovely day. My hair was done, I was already dressed to go out, and I felt relaxed and connected.

When I got home, I felt something very clear. Joy. I was really looking forward to being back in my own space, sitting down with Bud, my dog, and spending the evening watching TV.

And then that familiar thought popped up.

A friend once said to me, “You’re never going to meet anyone sitting at home on a Saturday night.”

That line has stayed with me over the years, and it doesn’t just apply to meeting a partner. It can just as easily be about meeting new people, making friends, or feeling part of something wider.

When I really sat with it, I realised something else was going on.

Often, when you’re solo, there’s an unspoken assumption that because you don’t have children, and because your time is more flexible, you should be out making the most of it. Friends who are parents sometimes talk about how hard it is to get out, how rare evenings to themselves are, how much planning it takes.

Without anyone meaning to, that can start to land as a quiet sense of responsibility. As if your freedom needs to be used. As if choosing to stay in is wasting something other people don’t have.

But having the ability to go out doesn’t automatically mean you want to. And it doesn’t mean you owe it to anyone to use that freedom in a particular way.

What I’ve learned, both personally and through Willow, is that you can love being at home and still want more from life. Enjoying your own company doesn’t cancel out a desire for connection. And choosing a quiet evening doesn’t mean you’re opting out of living fully.

Some women in Willow feel very settled in their solo lives. Others are still finding their feet. Many move back and forth between those two places, sometimes even within the same week. That movement is normal.

What helps most isn’t pressure. It’s options.

That’s why Willow isn’t about pushing anyone out the door. It’s about making things easier when you do want to go. Recently, a member shared that she felt ready for a more aligned social circle, but noticed she wasn’t taking many steps towards it yet. She wasn’t judging herself, more naming the dilemma of wanting change while also feeling comfortable where she was.

We’ve created a space on the Willow app called Things Members Are Doing as a way to gently lower the barrier to connection. It’s a place where members can share plans, ideas, walks, classes, or events, and others can join in if they fancy it. There’s no expectation and no pressure, it’s simply there as an option.

To leave you with this.

Enjoying your own company doesn’t mean you’ve stopped wanting connection. Wanting more from life doesn’t mean what you have isn’t enough. Both can exist side by side, and both are part of a full solo life.

Imelda